The rhythm of my days has changed as I move to paint full-time and professionally. It's not just the institutional timetable that has gone away with my academic job, but also the prioritising that had become part of my way of thinking. Released from that, there's a sense of bliss but also a bit of wobbling around in this new big space. Routines that I imposed at the beginning – out of fear that I might waste precious time – are being relaxed and adjusted day by day.

As the weeks go by, I notice yet another set of restrictions that I had placed on myself over the years, absorbed into my mind, and that can now be let go of. It doesn't matter if I paint at 8.30 in the morning or 8.30 in the evening, or both. What matters is that the gesso has dried properly and that the paint is at the right consistency still. There's a rhythm to this work that emerges from doing the work. I am trying to allow its emergence by setting a couple of fixed points in the day (writing in my journal and lunch!), then trusting in the process.